The Lakota Philosophy of the Give-Away

From a White Girls Perspective
By Margaret  MacKichan

Onlookers tend to react to a Give- Away with disbelief, even view it as wasteful extravagance. Non-Indians who eventually put on a Give- Awa because of involvement in the community often do it with a sense of thoughtful restraint. I believe this is because the true meaning and purpose is not understood. After living amongst the Lakota for fifteen years, I think I'm beginning to have a glimmer of understanding of the profound philosophy behind this practice.

The Five-Away is sometimes compared to a Northwest Coast Potlatch ceremony. The similarities are in fact superficial. The Potlatch demonstrates wealth and reestablishes power and position of an individual ore family within the community. The Give-Away on the other hand, is meant to convey the insignificance of personal belongings compared to the value held for an individual.  The extent of the Five-Away is an outward measure of how much a person is valued-and some things are beyond material value.

Of the primary Lakota virtues, generosity is second only to bravery. A person is honored not by being given a gift, but by having a gift given to someone else in his or her name. This is a greater honor than being given a gift oneself. "Thank yous" are directed at the honoree, not the actual giver. Traditional parents often give the guests at a birthday party presents, rather than having the guests bring gifts for the birthday child. this is a modern day interpretation of the Give-Away.

Relatives, or rather relationships are of supreme importance to the Lakota. People address one another by their relationship term, rather than their name. The prayer, " Mitakuye Oyas' in" (All my relatives) is a constant reminder that we are all related-not just you and I, but also the animal nations, earth, sky, water--all of creation. Mitakuye Oyas' in, the ending to all prayers, and a prayer in and of itself, reminds us to behave in an honorable and respectful way as we move through life. This is the way we treat a relative.

Certain passages in life call for a Give-Away. In the old days, when a woman felt a baby quicken with its first kick, the husband's parents gave away a horse in joyful appreciation of a new life. A Name-giving is probably the next occasion in a person's life for a Give-Away in their honor.

The Hunka Ceremony
Name-Giving usually includes a Hunka ceremony-a Making of Relatives ceremony. The basic purpose of the Hunka is to extend the support system of an individual, and is done publicly so that all will know of this new relationship. Today this is usually done for a child, but can also be between very close friends as adults, or to fill an emptiness. Sometimes, even today, when a loved one dies, another family will "give" a person of the same age and gender to the family to help ease the loss. This is even done when an adult child loses a parent, although more commonly without the Hunka ceremony. The  extent of integration of this with Lakota thought can be seen when you learn that in the past a  captured enemy would often be adopted by the parents of a slain warrior as their son, with all the respect and love for a son given him. Hunka is a very very old practice.

The Hunka relationship is a binding one. Don has brothers and sisters as a result of his mother and her friend adopting each other back in the thirties. The entire family acknowledges this relationship,  and calls one another by their kinship terms.

Expectations include mutual support in all endeavors, with unstated understanding that these will be of a positive nature. Children are taught skills, and WoLakota (the Lakota Way of Being) through example. The child may spend long periods of time with their Hunka parent, and be treated as a full family member. In the old days children chosen as Hunka were known as, " Beloved Child." As life goes on, the child becomes the adult who has a loving and supportive relationship with the elder.

Other Give-Away occasions include the Wopila ( Thanksgiving) Ceremony. When the deceased is young, the family may give away everything they own at the time of the death - furniture, household goods, car. Everything. I have seen this happen twice. How extensive is your grief? Other people step i and replace the bare necessities so the family may continue to live. When a Keeping the Spirit is done the family keeps the spirit of the deceased for one year, using that time to save, collect and make items for the Releasing of The Spirit. It focuses the mourners gives them time to deal with their loss while channeling their thoughts and energy in a positive way. After a year, the spirit must be released and a Give-Away and feed is held. The recipients at the Give-Away have a reminder to see daily to think of and remember that loved one.

A Feed is always part of a Give-Away. In fact, feeding the people is the single most important Lakota responsibility toward others. This may mean only a cup of coffee, if that is all that is possible.

Honoring a person, whatever their age brings respect to that person. It shows the people that he or she is worthy of being honored. It encourages the community to look up to that person,  and with that it teaches the honoree responsibility,  because with honor comes responsibility.  Albert White Hat told me that when he was six he shot a little songbird  and took it home to his mother (youngest daughter of Chief Hollow Horn Bear).  She immediately set about butchering a beef and preparing a huge meal. "You have fed the People,"  she said.  And, being six,  he believed it.  This is WoLakota.  And it set him on a life of increasing care and concern for the welfare of all people.

The order of the Give Away reflects that of prayers in ceremonies of all kinds.  In an Inipi,  (Sweat lodge)  each person prays aloud.  The prayer may simply be,  "Mitakuye Oyas'in," If more explicit,  one prayers first that the prayers of the person giving the ceremony be heard.  Next they pray for those in need.  Lastly one prays for ones own needs and one's family.  At a Give-Away those who have earned appreciation are acknowledged; Medicine people,  helpers,  and supporters.  Next are those who need help;  the the elderly,  the sick, the children,  the poor.  A general giving of small objects follows,  for it is hoped that all attendees are given something.  One never gives to ones own family,  because that is not generosity at all,  because you are giving to yourself.  However,  one tries to give to the relatives of in-laws,  because that strengthens and acknowledges the relationship bond.

Unlike the Potlatch,  the extent of a Give-Away is not judged as a status symbol,  but only as a demonstration of sincerity.  It may be very small if that is all the family can manage,  but the important thing is that a Give-Away is done.  However,  as in much of life,  often the ones with the least,  give the most.  These are the true traditionals,  living their beliefs.  But we've attended Hunka ceremonies in urban areas where gainfully employed parents give flimsy blankets to their own aunts,  uncles and siblings as the Give-Away.  It seems the purpose has become nominal show.  And perhaps in an urban setting, the relationship bond is not needed.

So you see,  the purpose is to build an intricate web of relationships and support.  And after all,  in a nomadic life,  excess is a burden,  literally.  When everyone lives this style of reciprocity,  as was once true,  it strengthens the whole.

Malakota Lo        I am Lakota
Malakota Lo        I am Lakota
Ina, Ate                Mother, Father
HeYapica              They told me
Blehimiciyeyo      Take Courage  (it is difficult)

Mitakuye Oyas'sin

Disclaimer:  This is one white lady's view!

Margaret MacKichan is Director of Art Institute at Sinte Gleska College on the Rosebud Reservation.